How to know when you’re playing the victim

“Would appreciate some extra insight on how to know when you’re playing the victim vs. just needing to express your feelings on how you’ve been affected by someone else’s actions vs. needing/desiring validation vs. not making others feel responsible for your feelings. Confused on how the concepts are different/similar & what’s healthy vs. not healthy. I definitely don’t want to play victim or make others responsible, but how does one express themselves without those possibly happening?

Is needing validation codependency? If so, is it always codependency or only in certain circumstances? How does one share their feeling without making the other person feel responsible?”